Ever eaten your way around the capital? We’re not talking Brick Lane curries and Chinatown takeaways here; this is a gastronomic excursion for the more eccentric pallet, and for those with an appetite for wordplay as they explore our culinary capital. Bon appetit.
1. Peckham, SE15 (above)
This south London neighbourhood may originally be better known for Pork Pie (from Desomond’s) than ham – It may not be kosher but don’t let that put you off.
1. Ham-pstead, NW6
It’s a leafy, literary enclave with the most discreet branch of McDonalds you’re ever likely to miss on the high street.
2. Plum-stead, SE18
Nothing to do with Little Jack Horner, but in 1066 this South London district was parceled up by William the Conqueror after his victory in The Battle of Hastings.
3. Chip-stead, CR5
A fair few chip butties must have been polished off in this commuter belt village, not least when ‘Footballers’ Wives’ was being filmed at Chipstead FC.
4. Ruislip, HA4
Almost as wholesome as ryebread, it’s worth staying on the Metropolitan line til it hits zone six, for a dip in the Victorian Lido followed by a slap up pub lunch at the Orchard Hotel, built to cater for the first train day trippers.
5. Victoria (Sponge) Park, E3
Food fit for a queen awaits in the East End’s charming Victoria Park Village, not to mention the picturesque Pavilion Cafe by the lake.
6. (Red) Leicester Square, WC2H
With the bright lights, novelty eateries and celebrity premieres rolling out the red carpet at every opportunity, there’s nowhere cheesier this side of Vegas.
7. Marble (Cake )Arch, W1R
Certainly the most appetising of roundabouts you’re likely to come across, allegedly it was described in 1847 by Sharpe’s London Magazine as ‘resembling a huge sugar erection in a confectioner’s shop window.’ Quite.
8. Swiss (Cheese) Cottage, NW4
As soon as you emerge from the bowels of the tube, there it is- an actual cottage! Well, in fact it’s a Ye Olde pub modelled on a chocolate box Alpine hideaway, and there’s not much cheese to be had, other than the cheese and onion variety.
9. Worcester (Sauce) Park, KT4
If you’re going on a journey to the centre of the earth, HG Wells’ birthplace would be a good place to start. And you’ll be needing that bottle of Worcestershire Sauce (but just to clarify, the Lea & Perrins potion actually hails from the Midlands).
10. Brockley, SE4
A leafy, arty Lewisham locale, Brockley has plenty to sustain you- from a pub theatre to boutique deli’s galore – get your greens in here.
Got any more London food puns? We want to hear them. Tweet us at @TimeOutLondon.