Last night, the legendary film maker and raconteur John Waters took to the stage at the Royal Festival Hall to spread some filthy festive tidings. If you had stumbled into the auditorium last night unawares, I can imagine this would have been a very shocking experience as John is not a man to mince his words, especially when it comes to sex, violence, drugs, criminality, sexuality, horror, amusement parks, pets, family, and well, pretty much everything else you can think of. Luckily, the audience was jam packed full of die hard Waters obsessives (like myself) who hung on every dirty word and laughed themselves silly as he took a romp through why he loves Christmas and what he hopes to give and receive this year. The list included everything from acts of terrorism (no don’t call the police, just playful ones like a pie in the face), nervous breakdowns (he plans to have one on stage during his last show), bad santas (who break in and open your presents but don’t steal anything) and sexual favours (if someone gives you a good present). I think we all learnt something. So put a whoopee cushion in the turkey, lick the furniture before your relatives arrive and have a very filthy xmas. Sonya Barber
If you missed out, you can still have a John Waters Christmas with his CD of alternative festive songs.