You’re sitting on the tube, rock music gradually escalating in your headphones.
Almost imperceptibly, you’ve started tapping along with the beat on your knees.
A folded Evening Standard becomes an imaginary hi-hat.
A foot joins in with the action, real subtle like.
Then the other foot.
And indeed, although your fellow commuters have failed to notice your movements, it strikes you that your precision and synchronicity are undeniable.
The suppleness of your rhythm? Exquisite.
And then it hits you.
‘Christ. I’d be an incredible drummer.’
Well in just 202 days, your savant-like powers of tempo adherence could be delighting audiences across the world. You see, although a mighty 10,000 volunteers have auditioned for the Olympics’ Opening Ceremony, the organisers were rather hoping to put on a show featuring twice that number. And they’re especially keen to feature more chaps:
We need more men – particularly if you have rhythm! This means those of you who can dance but also drum, or do any sport, job, or hobby that involves keeping to time. Previous performance experience is not required; Ceremonies Volunteer Performers simply need lots of enthusiasm, personality, a positive attitude, huge amounts of energy and a willingness to perform in front of a stadium audience and to millions of people around the world.
If that sounds like your kind of thing, then head to london2012.com without delay – auditions are in February. You’ll need to be available for some rehearsals too, where it’s implied you’ll be largely outnumbered by athletic, dancing women – such are the perils of sharing your Olympic spirit. Guy Parsons