We are always seeking to learn more about London life but maybe we have just over complicated everything. Lists of Note brought an interesting historical document to our attention. Back in 1908, when Rudyard Kipling’s 12 year old daughter was on her way to London, he wrote her a list of rules for life in London which go as follows:
I send you a few simple rules for Life in London.
1. Wash early and often with soap and hot water.
2. Do not roll on the grass of the parks. It will come off black on your dress.
3. Never eat penny buns, oysters, periwinkles or peppermints on the top of a bus. It annoys the passengers.
4. Be kind to policemen. You never know when you may be taken up.
5. Never stop a motor bus with your foot. It is not a croquet ball.
6. Do not attempt to take pictures off the wall of the National Gallery or to remove cases of butterflies from the National History Museum. You will be noticed if you do.
7. Avoid late hours, pickled salmon, public meetings, crowded crossings, gutters, water-carts and over-eating.
We decided to update these for 2012 if our (imaginary) daughter was off to the big smoke:
1. Wash early before your flatmates use up all of the hot water.
2. Do not roll around in parks as you may end up with dog poo in your hair.
3. Never play Rihanna out of your phone on the top of a bus. It annoys the passengers.
4. Do not mess with the fuzz. Or get kettled.
5. Never stop a Boris bike with your foot. It isn’t a football.
6. Do not attempt to steal a Gilbert & George print from the White Cube Gallery or a Damien Hirst Butterfly painting from Tate Modern.
7. Avoid night buses, pickled eggs, Occupy camps, Oxford Circus, rickshaws and stuffing your face until you can’t move.
For more amazing lists, go to listsofnote.com.