We recently told you about the rooftop mini golf course gracing the highest point of Selfridges and after hitting some balls, we can tell you that it’s not as easy as it looks. Bompass & Parr’s quirky mini-golf recreations of London landmarks make Selfridge’s Big Rooftop Tea and Golf Party look adorably sweet. But finishing on par is so tricky that you’ll snap your mashie niblick unless you follow caddy Alexi Duggins’s top tips…
‘The Big Ben Rebound’
How to play it: Hard right? Trickle to the left? Such are the questions of the true crazy golf theoretician. However, the true crazy golf theoretician winds up with a queue of irritable schoolkids pestering him to hurry up. So just take our advice and ride the rail on the left to rebound off the back wall into the hole.
‘Putter of the Bride’
How to play it: Hit the ball too softly and you’ll never make it up the ramp and into this pink replica of St Bride’s Church. Too hard and it’ll zoom right back out. Too much height and you’ll hit the crossbar. The key is disregarding instructions to ‘play the ball where it lies’.
‘Thames Tower Vault’
How to play it: Straight up the ramp. Not a very convincing Tower Bridge recreation, given the water trap’s distinct lack of murkiness. But as you’ll end up fishing around in it for your ball, we say huzzah for crystal-clear water!
How to play it: There’s a narrow gap between a series of pinball bumpers topped with jelly sculptures of St Paul’s (pictured), which is a nigh-on irresistible straight drive to the true golfer. But the true golfer doesn’t often play department store crazy golf. Play a gentle 45 degree ricochet off the side wall instead.
How to play it: It’s a cinch to send the ball up the wooden ramp, into the middle of three holes that run through this lemon-coloured replica of Selfridges… if you’re Nick Faldo. If you’re not, it’s best to avoid the ramp altogether and aim for the channel on the left.
For info, see Selfridges.com.