To get a different view of the run up to the Games (a birds-eye view to be precise), we check in with our avian Olympic correspondent, Brian Pigeon. This week, he shares his thoughts on the opening ceremony…
‘I heard they’ve decided to turn the Olympic stadium into a load of fields for the opening ceremony, complete with sheep and cows. I know London used to have fields, but not in ages. Not even London Fields is a field. Danny Boyle, the organiser of the whole shebang, said he wanted to ‘create a picture of ourselves as a nation’. That all sounds lovely, Mr Boyle, but where are the towerblocks, tube stations, crusty ledges and curry throwaways? More to the point, where are the pigeons? When’s the last time you saw a cow on Oxford Street, or a sheep poncing about in Soho Square?
Here’s a suggestion: instead of a small fake Glastonbury Tor, how about building a small fake housing estate instead? Maybe with a couple of corner shops and a Morrisons? If you did this, we urban pigeons could be in the show too. Give us a slot and we’ll do all sorts. Synchronised landing. Formation flying. Spike walking. The works. Everyone would be well impressed. It’s not like the sheep and cows will do much. Sheep pyramids? I don’t think so. And I’m pretty sure the cows won’t be on trampolines. All they’ll do is walk around looking bemused trying to eat the fake grass in the fake rain. While we’re at it, what’s with the fake rain? Haven’t we had enough of the real stuff? Even if we don’t make the official line-up, I think we should still join in. I’m thinking a flypast and maybe some Shit or Miss on the livestock…’
Read more from our pal Bri at pigeonblog.wordpress.com.