No money? No problem. After all, they do say the best things in life are free, right?
Take hugs, for instance. No, really, take one:
Good, eh? Now, how about some advice, on the house?
“Sounds like you’re on the right track, my friend. Keep at it!”
Or these guys:
“You’re too good for him, sweetheart. Too damn good.”
Or these guys:
“Pro tip, lads: don’t try cycling over water. Trust me.”
The sky’s a great source of freebies…
How much for a sunset? Zip!
Shooting stars? Nada!
You even get a wish!
Talking of stars…
Complete trip around the Circle Line @ 40mph: £2.00 each way.
Complete trip around the sun @ 67,000 mph: for you, not a penny.
(Though if the Earth started charging black cab rates, and everyone alive split the cost equally, we’d still only have to pay 59p a year… but we’d also have to listen to LBC forever.)
Back on earth, visit the (free!) park with some friends:
Enjoy the satisfaction of a well-timed remark at no extra cost:
Or for just £0.00, unleash a comeback so withering, it will echo through the ages:
And then make it all better with some flirting (no charge)
Want something more active? No problem! There’s free running:
[CAUTION: Freestyling is best attempted by trained professionals. Do not attempt to freestyle without adult supervision. Rhyming quickly without prior planning cause acute embarrassment. Awkwardness may not be immediately apparent to you. Speak to your doctor and MC guru prior to attempting to "spit it from the top of your dome."]
Freebasing? Oh dear. Maybe it’s time to talk to Frank… for free, of course:
And remember, good manners cost nothing:
Now, what do you say?
Sharing things on Facebook is gratis too:
Lovely. Now – something not free? No problem – just buy it with this free money!*
*Subject to availability.
Let’s hear it for healthcare at the point of use:
Free Love on the Freelove Freeway:
And though the cinema might be pricy, there’s always daydreaming:
Or straight-up nightdreaming:
And lie-ins in general:
That lead to great ideas:
Like picking up a copy of the new, free Time Out magazine…
…launching this Tuesday, outside a Zone 1-2 tube station near you. Remember, it looks like this:
And we look like this:
So, until then…