25 reasons why James Bond would be the worst flatmate ever
“The name’s Bond, J…”
“I know your name, James. We live together.”
James Bond – undoubtedly one of cinema’s coolest customers. A debonair ladies man with a license to kill; what fella wouldn’t want to be him?
But funnily enough, we moviegoers never see him chilling out with a few mates. He might be romancing a beautiful woman in Venice or playing poker in Monaco, but there’s no pints down the Red Lion, no stag-do’s, no house parties. But maybe, just maybe, it’s because being 007′s mate might be bit of a nightmare. And living with him would be even worse. Here are 25 reasons why Bond’s better off On Her Majesty’s Secret Service than Sharing A Flat With You.
On his days off, he’s not always that cool:
When he comes to your room for a chat, he forgets to knock:
Does the same joke every day:
“Ask me what I did today.”
“What did you do today?”
“Can’t say! LOLZ!”
KEEPS SMOKING INSIDE and then does his “Oh, is this a problem?” face:
Somehow manages to make guests slightly uncomfortable:
Whenever someone introduces themselves he just says:
After a couple of drinks starts doing his ‘sexy face trick’ to all your female friends:
He thinks curtains are ‘magic’ and calls them ‘hangy-down window blankies’:
There’s that one night you found him sneaking around the landing in a skirt:
And his strange peeking habit in general is unnerving:
Like, every time you get in a car together:
Talking of cars, he’s a frankly dangerous driver:
That time you hired a Streetvan was a disaster:
Just getting behind the wheel makes him super anxious:
And when you asked if he was actually insured, he just did this face:
Once you’re out on the town, he always squares up to bouncers…
And goes on about being a ‘Commander’ in the Navy even though they’ll only let him have a jetski:
It seems like he’s constantly quitting his ‘secret’ job in a strop:
But his brief attempt at being a used-car salesman mostly involved swindling sweet elderly chaps:
When you took him to a gig once, he looked really confused during the applause, and afterwards asked you “what was that weird handbanging thing at the end?”:
He never gets your text messages because his “watch ran out of paper”:
He’s totally convinced the camera loves him:
But his ‘photo-smile’ actually looks like this:
On beach trips he always sulks if he doesn’t win volleyball:
Although he’s sometimes more Saga Holidays than International Super Spy:
If you arrange to meet:
He won’t be late:
No matter what:
Even if he doesn’t stand on the right (or walk on the left):
And now and then, he even brings the Queen with him:
Ok, maybe he’s not so bad after all.
Read our review of Skyfall;
Our interview with the director, Sam Mendes:
Or our take on ten retro references from the trailer alone.
