On Saturday night, Alexi Duggins and Danielle Goldstein went west to see Kanye. Here’s a blow by blow commentary of how the night panned out…
9.37pm: Kanye appears on a white slip ‘n’ slide backed by a tundra projection.
9.56pm: There’s a noise like the wind whipping around a deserted Aldi carpark during ‘Coldest Winter’ and fake snow leaves the audience looking like extras in a Head & Shoulders ad.
9.58pm: Kanye nips off for a quick outfit change, and… he’s back in a straitjacket, obviously. Paired with a white pillowcase with eye-holes, this is a look that can only be described as KKK out-patient.
10.05pm: The outro of his Bon Iver collaboration ‘Lost in the World’ is stretched out a further 10 minutes by the Chicago rapper yodelling nothingness into a chasm of autotune.
10.20pm: Having restarted ‘All of the Lights’ like the true diva he is, and just about getting through ‘Flashing Lights’, 40 minutes in Kanye finally addresses the crowd. ‘All you bitches I wanna hear ya!’ he yells before kicking into ‘Clique’, which – already fairly sparse – seems less impressive without Big Sean and Jay-Z’s cameos.
10.24pm: Prone to public ranting, Mr West kicks off a lengthy tirade. ‘This is one of my hometowns. I came here for the creativity. I hate business people who ask me how much shampoo can you sell with your face on it and shit’ – presumably no shampoo sells with shit on – ‘since when was making art about getting rich?’
10.27pm: He’s still going… ‘I got nothing against Hov but I ain’t fucking with no suit and tie. Grammys can suck my dick. “Niggas in Paris” never got nominated. I love white people, but I never won a Grammy against a white person…
10.32pm: ‘…and I’m mother fucking Kanye West! The kid try hard in school, but in this field we do music. And they think they can sweep it under the rug? Am I the only one who’s not crazy? Like when Taylor Swift beat Beyoncé? Beyoncé dancing in heels and shit and they think they can sweep that shit under the fucking rug. The audacity. The audacity!’
10.45pm: Kanye shuts up and climbs down over the edge. Actually he went over the edge 20 minutes ago.
10.50pm: Another change, another freaky mask. This time a diamond encrusted gimp hood to accompany his cover of the Rihanna track ‘Diamonds’, followed by ‘Runaway’.
11.06pm: He’s still singing ‘Runaway’, but from a defeated sprawl on the floor while mumbling about being an ‘asshole’. No doubt the audience’s will is around the same level.
11.13pm: ‘I love you all so much’, he mumbles through autotune before leaving.
11.18pm: Hang on, ol’ West is back for an encore with ‘Gold Digger’.
11.20pm: Nope, that’s it folks. Kanye has dropped the mic halfway through the song and stomped off to boos by a disgruntled and baffled crowd.
Want to see it for yourself? Kanye plays the Hammersmith Apollo again on March 1. There are a few tickets left at eventim.co.uk so get booking.