Everyone is wearing green to avoid bad luck and every Tom, Dick, Harry, Yvonne and Joslin has a pint of Guinness in their hand (despite hating the stuff the other 364 days of the year). Yep, it’s St Patrick’s Day. A day where everyone claims to be an eighth Irish and commits a dozen faux pas before Sunday lunch has been consumed. Thankfully, we’re here to tell you exactly what you should and shouldn’t do to make the most of Ireland’s national day. Carly-Ann Clements
First up. Attire.
Do: Wear green
Okay, okay. We know it’s a bit of a cliché but you don’t want to be the only one who has to explain why you’re not wearing it all day long.
Don’t: Just wear green pants
Cringe! We know what you’re up to. The aforementioned ‘why aren’t you wearing green?’ question will be asked giving you an excuse to flash your undies. This is a day for national pride, damn it! Put it away.
Do: Wear a festive hat or pair of glasses
It might even get you a free drink or two.
Don’t: Dress like a ‘sexy’ leprechaun
Not only will you have certain people looking at you like this:
Even if you look alright at the start of the night, people will judge you and eventually you may look like this:
And then this:
And no one wants to see a drunken leprechaun’s under garments.
Do: Some interesting nail art
Want to show your creative side? Head over to Pinterest for some nail art ideas. It’ll be a great conversation starter, promise.
Don’t: Post pictures of your painted toes on Instagram
No matter how creative or festive your toes are, keep them to yourself. No one wants to see that.
Do: Experiment with makeup and face paint
A subtle flourish will make you look outgoing and will be easy to maintain/wash off.
Don’t: Coat yourself in green paint
Have dozens of rugby boys and sports fans taught you nothing? Painting your face when you’re drinking can go one of three ways: you end up looking patchy and diseased by the end of the night, terribly stained bedsheets, or it’ll stain your skin and you’ll end up like this guy.
And definitely don’t do your makeup drunk…
… because you will end up like this:
And this will totally be you by the end of the night:
Do: Dress your pet in fancy dress
Seen a cute, green hat in the pet shop? Go on. Treat yourself to 30 seconds of fun and an Instagram picture or two. All your friends will think you’re funny and quirky.
Don’t: Dye your pet green
or any colour for that matter:
Do I really have to explain why?
Do: Make some cute, green cakes or biscuits
Who doesn’t love a sugar and e-number high?
Don’t: Make all your food green
First of all, it doesn’t make sense. Secondly, you will forget and panic in the morning when your hangover expels green waste from your body.
Do: Enjoy a festive drink or two and know your limits
It is a special day after all. Just make sure you end up at this stage and no more:
Don’t: Forget that you’re not 18 anymore
Alcohol will hit you harder and stronger and it will lead to this:
And no matter what, USE PUBLIC TRANSPORT! Do not even attempt to get in a car.
Do: Make some new friends
Nothing brings people together like organised drinking.
Don’t: Make outlandish claims to new people
It will bite you in the backside, believe us. And you don’t want to face that, along with all the other embarrassing things you would have done during St Patrick’s Day.
Do: conduct yourself in a respectable manner
Beer goggles or not, you don’t want to be caught in an inappropriate situation on camera. You know what the internet is like people! Get your priorities straight and don’t end up like this guy:
Don’t: fall asleep while the party is still raging
Because drunk people are dicks. And on that note…
DO NOT USE ALCOHOL AS AN EXCUSE!
Don’t get creepy believing that you’re being charming!
Make sure you lock away your phone to save yourself some humiliation. Drunk texting, dialling and tweeting are an utter no, no and you definitely don’t want this to happen:
So just remember to have fun, drink sensibly and that you’ll most likely have a hangover in the morning so stock the fridge, leave a pint of water next to your bed and be prepared to do this a lot at work:
And never ask where the little green footsteps came from… it’s probably better you didn’t know.
Happy St Patrick’s Day everyone!