There you are at home, sitting on the loo, when a fox bursts in and attacks you. ‘I didn’t even have time to wipe myself,’ said 49-year-old Catford resident Anthony Schofield, whose meditations were interrupted by the rogue animal last week. According to South London paper News Shopper, he chased after the canid intruder with his trousers around his ankles, only to find ‘it had the cat round the neck’ while somehow also managing to bite his partner’s finger. Eventually, the four-way struggle ended when Schofield dragged the vulpine invader outside. No one was seriously hurt in the incident, but it was clearly a traumatic experience. ‘It was so frightening,’ said Schofield. ‘It was like a wild animal.’ We’re saying nothing.