At long last, the Royal baby came into the world kicking and screaming. Well, we don’t know about the last part but we certainly know that some members of the public were making quite a fuss. The baby boy born at St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington at 4.24pm weighed a healthy 8lb 6oz and is said to be doing well along with mum. But then you probably already know. The media has a heck of a lot to say about it today and retailers have a lot to earn from it (or are making desperate attempts to jump on the baby bandwagon). For months now, every Tom, Dick and Harry has shamelessly attempted to make a quick buck on the back of the babe. Some are fun. Some are classic. Some are…errr tenuous at best. We’ve collected some of the best, strangest and just about acceptable ways you can celebrate the birth of a child you’ve never (and probably will never) meet. Carly-Ann Clements
1. The obligatory mug
With every Royal occasion comes a commemorative mug. And this, dear readers, seems to be a clairvoyant mug as it predicted the sex of the baby. Or maybe they just made both. We hope the real baby comes complete with cherubs.
2. It’s a Royal, donut you know…
Well, it works when you say it out loud. Krispy Kreme shamelessly sold delicious donuts with somewhat creepy baby footprints iced on the top. We still wouldn’t say no to eating them but probably not the best way to commemorate the birth of the third-in-line-to-the-throne.
3. Talking of bad taste…
Or hilarious. You decide. Madame Allsorts has designed this Royal Baby Feeding t-shirt. We’re not sure what the Royals would say to it but it’s definitely closer to the top of our fave RB merch.
4. Protect the Royal Baby
Or just the front of his clothes. These bibs are a snip at just £4.99 on eBay and a sure way to prove that you too are winning at life. If only they made them in adult sizes.
5. Make your own Royal Baby
We’re all for crafts but this is something else! The folks over at Ivy Press have released a free pattern for you to knit your very own Royal Baby. We’re impressed by the dedication and skill put into this work of… art, but we’re not sure we’ll be casting on to create our own any time soon.
6. Butter me up!
Though they have an extremely flimsy link to the birth of the Royal Baby, these polishes are at least something you can use (if you like your talons painted, obvs). At £12 a pop from Harvey Nichols or Boots, we’re not sure how many Royalists will be sporting the ‘No More Waity Katie’ but we think a few fashionistas with an eye for a decent purple will embrace the ‘Pitter Patter’ of the cash till.
7. Any excuse for a party
And an ice cream cake! Baskin Robbins has released a new 6″ celebration birthday cake which will be priced £ for lb with the new bouncing baby boy. The £8 cake consists of: Caramel Chocolate Crunch ice cream and chocolate cake, and is decorated with a chocolate frosting ‘ribbon,’ a white chocolate ‘bow’ and gold chocolate candies. Get ’em whilst they’re… cold?
8. Born with a silver penny?
Most Royals are born with a silver spoon in their mouths but not this hip, down-with-the-kids baby. No. This baby just gets a new, silver penny released in its honour. How very humble.
9. I can’t take it any more! I’m going to…
Had enough of all this baby talk? You’re not alone. Thankfully, illustrator Lydia Laith has created these quite fitting sick bags. Pass us a couple, will ya?
10. Get high for your birthday
Not really a product but more a clever/kind idea. Anyone who shares their birthday with the new Royal can visit The Shard today for free! All you need to do is bring your passport and of course, it’s subject to availability. But, if your birthday was slightly outshone yesterday, this will be quite a nice way to make up for it.
Even our fave app Citymapper were getting in on the action:
KITTENS! The Battersea Dogs and Cats Home is hosting the Battersea’s Royal Kitten Shower on Saturday July 27 in honour of the wee monarch. Featuring quizzes, crafts, a naming ceremony and, of course, kittens, this is probably the best celebration any baby could ask to be held in its honour.
Republican? Here’s a whole load of things to do that have absolutely nothing to do with the royals.