Editor-at-large Alexi Duggins is at your mercy. And this week he’s been a very knotty boy – so you had him done up like a kipper by a shibari sexpert.
It’s not often we cover London’s BDSM communities. All power to them, though. Granted, for most of us a ball gag doesn’t say ‘powerful erotic potential’ so much as ‘snooker disaster’. But what about handcuffs, hmm? If my partner whipped some out, I’d give ’em a go. Maybe do some role play like… Christ, I dunno… ‘Hey, baby, wanna be the guardian of my piece?’ Then probably: ‘Why are you laughing?’ And ‘Wait! Come back!’
So possibly nothing says ‘intimate lovemaking’ quite like being trussed up like a beef joint. Or at least that’s what I tell my protesting girlfriend as I drag her into a house in Camberwell for a lesson in shibari: the ancient Japanese art of hog-tying your partner for sexy thrills. Though God knows why she’s so worried. I’m the one who’s getting roped up. And there’s no hitting. So it’s not even dangerous, right?
Wrong. ‘You could lose the feeling in your arm for days if you’re not careful,’ warns my teacher, Bruce Esinem. ‘Maybe weeks.’
Oh good. I’m taken to an alcove and my partner is told to think in ‘the language of rope’. Knot techniques are explained, there’s talk of making a ‘crotch harness’ and suddenly I’m entombed in a stringy sarcophagus.
But then things get a bit too weird. ‘Here, look at this!’ exclaims Bruce, pulling out a mag full of distraught looking, naked Japanese women, legs bound into such revealing positions that if you were caught with said publication, you could do worse than try explaining it away with: ‘I’m a trainee gynaecologist!’
We’re treated to a tale of how taut rope can be used with a vibrator to distance-frig a lady. Then I’m untied and it’s over. How was it? Okay, actually. A bit strange, but not too hardcore. ‘Yeah,’ agrees Bruce, thrusting a metal hook into my hands. ‘This is much more hardcore. Goes up people’s arses!’ I hand it back to him and leave. Being tied up by my partner is one thing; getting strung up by mybum is quite another.