1. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson
There is a love that dare not speak its name, and few male duos dare not speak it as loudly as Holmes and Watson. We’ve all seen or read the clues – the lingering looks, the tense bickering, the interdependence. Holmes needs Watson; Watson needs Holmes. They are yin and yang, ebony and ivory. But for all his perceptive brilliance and analytical genius, Holmes appears unable to see what’s right in front of him: true love. Elementary.
2. Prince William and Kate Middleton
Ensconced in the safety of their Kensington Palace home, HRH Wills and K-Middy are an industry unto themselves: no couple on this list has generated anywhere near as much souvenir tat. You don’t see Dave and Sam Cam commemorative mugs, do you? Nope. And if shops on Oxford Street selling bric-à-brac and T-shirts with your picture on is a measure of success, these two are right up there with Che Guevara and Paddington Bear.
3. Professor Green and Millie Mackintosh
Disney classic ‘Lady and the Tramp’ is the moving story of an upper-class cocker spaniel and a downtown mutt falling madly in love. In a wonderful example of life imitating cartoons, chocolate empire heiress and star of ‘Made in Chelsea’ Millie Mackintosh married grimey east London rapper Professor Green in a countryside ceremony last September. It’s a case of Clapton Road meets Quality Street, and it proves you can find romance wherever you look.
4. Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett
Compromise, cooperation, co-dependence. These are the building blocks of a good relationship, and there is no better example of them than the bond between the Demon Barber of Fleet Street and his neighbour Mrs Lovett. Theirs was a simple relationship. He killed people, she turned them into pies and sold them, they shared the profits. Seems like a reasonable working model for any couple: each person puts in a little bit of effort and both get something out of it. Quite sweet, really. Unlike the pies.
5. David and Samantha Cameron
Power couples don’t come much mightier than Dave and Sam Cam, but their romance started just like any other. It’s a classic tale of two everyday youngsters with royal lineage meeting on holiday in Tuscany and falling head-over-heels in love. Happens all the time. Now, he’s the most powerful man in Britain and she’s his trusty sidekick. Like a real-life Richard Curtis romance, but with less Hugh Grant. Which can only be a good thing.
6. Boudica and Prasutagus
You know in ‘The Jerry Springer Show’ when a woman says she’s been having an affair with a married man and then his wife comes on and beats the crap out of her? That’s basically what Boudica, Queen of the Iceni, did when the Romans ignored her husband Prasutagus’s will and decided to annexe Britain after his death. She went full Jerry on those Italians and tore the place apart, burning London to the ground in the process. Now that’s love.
7. Gilbert & George
Based on a survey we just invented, 87 percent of divorced couples blame their split on an inability to assemble flatpack furniture together. So what’s truly incredible about artist duo Gilbert & George is that they’ve based their whole career on working together. And they appear to be inseparable: the average Londoner is bound to notch up at least one sighting in their lifetime of the besuited pair strolling the streets together. As most couples attempt to stab each other to death with mini Ikea Allen keys, Gilbert & George sit pretty in a world of collaborative success.
8. John Keats and Fanny Brawne
Yes, Fanny Brawne had one of the greatest names in history, but it’s her all-too brief engagement to the great poet Keats that warrants her inclusion on this list. Brawne and Keats were together for little more than two years before tuberculosis cruelly took the young man’s life. But, looking back, do you know what we can say for certain? The thing our greatest romantic poet loved best in life was Fanny. Thank you, Keats, for making that sentence possible.
9. Queen Victoria and Prince Albert
Queen Victoria kept her search for true love close to home. Real close. That’s right, Prince Albert was her first cousin. Is there anything more romantic than marrying a relative? It certainly didn’t stop Al and Vicky from becoming one of the greatest couples in history. They changed the shape of the British monarchy, expanded the empire and helped to abolish slavery. After Albert’s untimely death Queen Vic mourned him by wearing black for the rest of her life. Forty years! Aww.
10. Jae Jae and Melati
Blind dates can go seriously wrong, but when they do, you can just get a cab home and drown your sorrows in a glass of chardy. But not for poor old Jae Jae – the handsome Sumatran tiger from Ohio was flown all the way to London Zoo for his rendezvous with Melati. What if she’d had an irritating laugh? What if she was really right wing? What if she chewed with her mouth open (she probably does)? Tigers can’t take cabs! Luckily for everyone, he thinks she’s paw-fect. Eddy Frankel
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