12 new skyscrapers coming to London (and our proposed nicknames for them)

Posted at 5:30 pm, April 10, 2014 in Arts & Entertainment, Fun London
London's Growing Up, NLA exhibition

If you’ve been along to new architecture exhibition ‘London’s Growing Up!’, you’ll know that the city’s skyline is in the midst of a thoroughly modern makeover. From Barking to Battersea, towers of glass and steel are quite literally on the rise, springing up out of the dirt in a variety of envelope-pushing shapes and sizes.

This is no bad thing, of course – as well as offering plenty of new places to live, work and take moody Instagram snaps of, twenty-first-century urban development also presents the opportunity for a round of (admittedly incredibly childish) nickname giving. We’re not entirely convinced that our list of suggestions will stick, but if they do, by 2017 you could be commuting from your home at the Graphic Equaliser to your office in the Twat Iron. Imagine that.

Got some funnier nicknames? Leave us a comment or drop us a tweet.

What we’re calling it: ’The Loofah’
What they’re calling it: One Wood Wharf
Purpose: Residential
ETA: 2018
One Wood Wharf 1

 


What we’re calling it:
 ’The Graphic Equaliser’
What they’re calling it: Merano
Purpose: Mixed-use
ETA: 2017
Merano 1

 

What we’re calling it: ’God’s Bongo’
What they’re calling it: One Merchant Square
Purpose: Mixed-use
ETA: 2018
1 Merchant Square 1 © European Land


What we’re calling it:
 ’The Twat Iron’
What they’re calling it: Eagle House
Purpose: Residential
ETA: 2015
Eagle House _City Road East View _LR ∏ Mount Anvil


What we’re calling it:
 ’The USB Sticks’
What they’re calling it: One Nine Elms
Purpose: Mixed-use
ETA: 2018
One Nine Elms © ATCHAIN and KPF


What we’re calling it:
 ’The Donkey Kong’
What they’re calling it: Keybridge House
Purpose: Mixed-use
ETA: Planning pending
Full page fax print

 

What we’re calling it: ’The Slightly Dodgy Reception’
What they’re calling it: St Georges House
Purpose: Residential
ETA: 2014
St Georges House 1 ©EPR

 

What we’re calling it: ’The Giant’s Causeway’
What they’re calling it: Karma House (seriously)
Purpose: Residential
ETA: 2015
Karma House 1 view from the south-east © Animated Remedy

 

What we’re calling it: ’The Wonky Coffin’
What they’re calling it: One Blackfriars
Purpose: Mixed-use
ETA: 2017
One Blackfriars 1 © HayesDavidson_LR

 

What we’re calling it: ’The New-Age Stovepipe’
What they’re calling it: 100 Bishopsgate
Purpose: Mixed-use
ETA: On hold
100 Bishopsgate 1

 

What we’re calling it: ’The Last of the Cheese’
What they’re calling it: 240 Blackfriars
Purpose: Commercial
ETA: 2014
240 Blackfriars 1

 

What we’re calling it: ’The Ankle Rash’
What they’re calling it: The Stage Shoreditch
Purpose: Mixed-use
ETA: 2015
The Stage Shoreditch 1

Find out more about London’s architectural future at London’s Growing Up! at New London Architecture

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