It’s not just tennis stars who run the risk of humiliating themselves on Centre Court – wear the wrong thing or shout the wrong name and the world’s spectators will titter at you. Dodge international shame with Eddy Frankel’s spiffing etiquette guide.
Wimbledon is one of the few major sporting events that you can get tickets for on the day. They’re cash-only (£20-£148) and just one per person. Many people camp overnight, so you may have some competition. Prepare to be dedicated.
DO BRING A BROLLY AND SUN CREAM
Because it’s Britain. Wimbledon even advises visitors to prepare for ‘extreme weather’. How would you like a dollop of hurricane with those strawberries? Wimbledon is wild.
DO ASK EVERY BALD MAN IF THEY’RE ANDRE AGASSI
They’ll think it’s hilarious.
DO SHOUT ‘COME ON, TIM!’ AT ANDY MURRAY
Classic Wimbledon banter.
DO TAKE LOADS OF FOOD AND WATER
If you queue, you will be thirsty and hungry, and once you’re inside the food and drink is priced exactly as you’d imagine. Taking a packed lunch or picnic hamper may not scream ‘Hey, I’m a high-flyer from the Côte d’Azur!’ but it will stop you from starving, dying from dehydration or going bankrupt.
DON’T USE FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY
You will be ejected and possibly beaten. How would you like it if there were strobes going off while you were trying to work? Actually, that sounds pretty great.
DON’T WEAR ANY CLOTHES THAT MAY BE CONSIDERED ‘AMBUSH MARKETING’
This is frowned upon. Wimbledon is all about tradition and class, and they don’t take kindly to companies trying to edge in via your outfit.
DON’T FOLLOW BORIS BECKER
…into any broom closets.
DON’T TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF OR BEHAVE ANNOYINGLY
These are two genuine, and very serious, conditions of entry. This is Wimbledon, not bloody Sodom and Gomorrah.
DON’T SHOUT ‘COME ON, TIM!’ AT ANDY MURRAY.
What are you, 12?
Where to watch it
A PUB IN WIMBLEDON
The Woodman, ww222 Durnsford Rd, SW19 8DR.
Enjoy the tournament without camping overnight for tickets. Head to this grand pub for grub, ales and screens showing athletes running around a tiny patch of grass for up to 11 hours.
Aorangi Terrace, All England Lawn Tennis Club, SW19 5AE.
If you’ve got a ground admission pass to Wimbledon but no court-side tickets, Aorangi Terrace is the place to be. You may also know it as Henman Hill, Murray Mound or Rusedski Ridge.
A PUB OUT EAST
The Albion, 94 Goldsmith’s Row, E2 8QY.
Love tennis, but can’t abide west London? Relax, Mr Beardyhipsterman, pubs out east are showing the tennis too. This fantastic football pub will be screening Wimbledon matches throughout the day.
A BIG OUTDOOR SCREEN
Regent’s Place Outdoor Screenings, NW1 3HF.
There are plenty of places to catch the Wimbledon action on a whopping alfresco screen, but Regent’s Place near Warren Street is showing World Cup games too.
A FANCY RESTAURANT
San Lorenzo Fuoriporta, 38 Wimbledon Hill Rd, SW19 7PA.
The owners boast that every champion for the past 40 years has passed through its doors. This trattoria will screen all the games and you can even book a private room.
Find out more about the Wimbledon Championships here.