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Five things to do on an uncomfortably hot London bus

Posted at 8:00 am, September 17, 2014 in Fun London
Routemaster bus

Oh shiiiiit, the temperature on London’s buses has breached the legal limit for livestock AGAIN. That’s right – despite the fact the weather’s been pretty cool over the past couple of months, Boris’s new Routemaster-style buses are burning up.

Apparently, faulty air conditioning units have been blowing hot air through the buses, causing temperatures to reach a toasty 34C. In fact, technicians described the conditions on 60 percent of buses they measured in August as ‘uncomfortable’.

But while the pros say ‘uncomfortable’, we say it’s time to make the most of it. Here are five things a hot, hot, hot London bus would be perfect for.

1. Getting eggs to hatch

Spare the cost of an incubator and leave your pet snake eggs on a bus. The warm, muggy conditions will suit the little critters perfectly.

2.  Bikram yoga

Make sure the back door’s closed then whip out a yoga mat and show off your downwards dog in the aisle space. Not at all inappropriate.

3.  Getting your bread to rise

Why not bring your bake along with you on your 40-minute commute? The warm, clammy vibes will help the yeast to ferment and that fluffy white loaf to rise. Optimal yeast growth occurs at around 37C.

4. A weed lab

Turn your commute into a money-spinner by growing your own batch on the bus. The toasty and bright conditions of the top deck are perfect for cultivating cannabis. Or, if you’re less criminally inclined, cress.

5. An impromptu performance of ‘Hot In Herre’

I am getting so hot, I’m gonna take my coat AND jumper off.

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