Forget the Harry Potter theme park, Universal Studios, Alton Towers and both Disneyland and Disneyworld, the world’s getting the theme park it’s always needed: BBC WORLD IS COMING (sorta).
BBC Worldwide’s signed a deal with a company called London Resort Company Holdings to allow rides in a £2 billion Kent park to feature characters and themes from its shows.
Due to open in 2020, the ‘Paramount Pictures entertainment resort’ (a working title, we hope) will include Hollywood-inspired rides and a water park as well as rides based on BBC shows. The park’s expected to attract London’s tourists, so will be featuring experiences based on programmes that are popular internationally.
We expect this means there’ll be ‘Top Gear’, ‘Sherlock’ and ‘Doctor Who’ themed experiences, but would much rather one of the following:
1. A ‘Great British Bake Off’-inspired ride in the style of Disney’s ‘It’s A Small World’ but with Mary Berry’s face on all the dolls. Cute.
2. A ‘Blue Peter’ totaliser viewing platform, which gets higher and higher as people put more money in it and then suddenly flashes intensely and catapults up and down when it reaches the target figure. Not suitable for sufferers of epilepsy.
3. ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ waltzers, which shout brutal insults at you and/or spray you with fake tan as you spin round and round until you pass out. Perfect for kids.