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49 brilliant things happening in London this week

Jet Nepomuceno[Photo: Jet Nepomuceno]

Hey lucky Londoners, this week’s got fun written all over it! Get romantic at Borough Market with a mass kiss-a-thon, have a rejuvenating boogie at Morning Gloryville or immerse yourself in Pipoletti Rist’s installation at Hauser & Wirth. Here are all the coolest things happening in London this week…

Fun things to do 

Man vs Santa, The Hand in Hand, TONIGHT, £2. This charity challenge asks participants to chow down on as many mince pies as they can manage in just three minutes. As well as a place on the pub wall of fame and eternal gorging glory, the winning gobbler will be given 60 seconds behind the bar to pour as much draught as they can and a local brewery tour for them plus five friends.

Laydeez Do Comics, Foyles Charing Cross Road, TONIGHT, free. This informal women-led forum is designed for both emerging artists and established practitioners, and focusses on comics that depict the drama of the everyday.

1,000 Mistletoe Kisses Light Up Borough Market, Southwark Street, Tuesday, free. Is the power of love even stronger during the festive season? Let’s hope so, because Borough Market hopes to switch on its Christmas display with the help of 1,000 kisses under 1,000 bunches of mistletoe suspended from the roof of the market building.

Carols by Candlelight for Alzheimer’s Society, Knightsbridge, Tuesday, £30, Person with dementia and their carer £30, child £15. This evening of carols by candlelight is hosted by Sir Michael Parkinson and features the angelic voices of the New London Children’s Choir as well as readings from celebrity supporters including Ruth Jones.

Chanukah in the Square, Trafalgar Square, Tuesday, free. If you’re looking to celebrate Chanukah which starts on December 16, there’s no more superlative-packed gathering to join than this evening event in Trafalgar Square.

The School of Life Singalong, Conway Hall, Wednesday, £15. An evening of what you really want to hear at Christmas – a talk on how to stay sane and an hour of rousing carols you can sing your heart out to.

Some Voices: Baz Lurhmann’s ‘Romeo + Juliet’, St John-at-Hackney Church, Wed-Thu, £12 + booking fee adv, £15 on the door. Some 200 members of the Some Voices choir will perform the soundtrack to Baz Lurhmann’s sensational ‘Romeo + Juliet’ at this alternative Christmas event.

Netil Market, Netil House, Wed-Thu, free. For two evenings this week, Netil Market will be popping up with festive stalls, food and drink in their yard. The General’s Barber Shop, Earl of East London, Barley & Claude, FIELD of London and Little Deer have all been confirmed.

Christmastime Night Market, Peckham, Thursday, free. Clear the last few names off that gift list at this friendly little market in Peckham featuring local artists and crafty folk and their creations.

Winter Warmer at the Fashion & Textile Museum, Borough, Thursday, £12. These late night events at the Fashion and Textile Museum give visitors the chance to see the latest ‘Knitwear – Chanel to Westwood’ show and nab a 25 percent discount in the museum’s cafe.

Barbican Christmas Market, Barbican Centre, all week, free. The Barbican hosts ten days of seasonal shopping, with 35 independent designers, makers and artisans setting up shop in the foyer.

…or check out more events happening in London this week.

Señor Ceviche

Señor Ceviche

Eating and drinking

The Case of the Curious Cocktail, Museum of London, Tuesday, £36. An imaginative event to accompany the museum’s Sherlock Holmes exhibition, this after-hours event sends visitors on a cocktail-making hunt through the galleries.

Talking Beer with Big Al, Greenwich Union, Wednesday, £12. Find out just what makes beer taste so damn good at this weekly tasting night hosted by Meantime Brewing Company’s cheerful cockney tour guide Big Al.

Winter Cocktail Experience on the London Eye, Waterloo, Thursday, £45, £40.50 adv. These festive trips on the London Eye allow you to enjoy a bird’s eye view of London in all its sparkly glory as you sip a cocktail that’s been specially made while you rotate.

The Manor, Clapham. The imagination and skill of the kitchen at The Manor places it among the city’s most cutting-edge restaurants.

Señor Ceviche, Soho. In 2012, after a stint at Lima’s renowned ceviche restaurant El Mercado, 25-year-old British chef Harry Edmeades came back to London and started Don Ceviche, a pop-up with just five ceviches. Then he spent another two years perfecting and expanding the menu before launching this ‘proper’ restaurant.

…or see Time Out’s recommended restaurants.

Bridget Christie – An Ungrateful Woman

Comedy

Bridget Christie – An Ungrateful Woman, Battersea Arts Centre, TONIGHT, £15-£18, £12 concs. Bridget Christie won the 2013 Foster’s Edinburgh Comedy Award for her passionately political show attacking everyday sexism, ‘A Bic for Her’. Her follow-up, ‘An Ungrateful Woman’, is equally superb, if not better.

Nick Helm – Merry Christmas Motherf**kers!, Soho Theatre, Mon,Wed-Thu, £15, £12.50 concs. London, prepare to be kicked hard in the baubles, as the thrillingly unpredictable Nick Helm hits the capital with a festive treat.

Sheeps Festive Bash, The Invisible Dot Ltd, Wed-Thu, £10, £8.50 concs. Innovative and very funny sketch troupe Sheeps – made up of Liam Williams, Daran Johnson and Alistair Roberts – are back again with their annual Festive Bash.

Joel Creasey – Rock God, Soho Theatre, all week, £10-£15. Aussie comic Joel Creasey makes his UK debut, bringing his acclaimed show ‘Rock God’ (which our buddies over at Time Out New York gave the full five-stars too) to the Soho Theatre.

…or check out all the critics’ choice comedy shows.

 Chrissie Hynde

Live music

Chrissie Hynde, Koko, Tuesday, £30. The Pretenders frontwoman purveys a blend of gently bluesy pop-rock that has stood her in good stead since the ‘70s.

Emeli Sandé, Union Chapel, Tuesday, £35. Soul queen Sandé continues her pop onslaught, buoyed by Olympic omnipresence and worldwide album success. She may be Simon Cowell’s favourite singer, but fortunately she’s a rare breed: a major-label pop star who oozes class.

XFM’s Winter Wonderland 2014, O2 Academy Brixton, Wednesday, £29.99. XFM radio host this night featuring Frank Turner And The Sleeping Souls, The Horrors, Billy Bragg, Catfish And The Bottlemen, To Kill A King, Billy The Kid.

The Who, The O2, Wed-Thu, £60-£75. Clearly long done with hoping they die before they get old, Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend are celebrating 50 years since the first gig by The Who by retiring gracefully. Just kidding: they’re going on another massive arena tour, which stops off in London tonight for a set which (we’re told) will feature ‘hits and misses’.

…or take a look at all 59 live music events in London this week.

Morning Gloryville: Christmas Tinsel Party

Nightlife

Morning Gloryville: Christmas Tinsel Party, Oval Space, Wednesday, £19.20. The incredibly popular early morning dance party that asks punters to ‘rave your way into the day’ (in a safe-for-work sense, of course) hosts a festive special.

Winterville Spiegeltent: Cirque du Cabaret, Victoria Park, Wednesday, £17.50. Hosted in the fun-filled Spiegeltent at temporary winter festival Winterville, Cirque du Cabaret offers a mix of cabaret, comedy, live music, circus and burlesque.

Bite Xmas: Dawn Hunger, The Nest, Wednesday, £6, £5 adv. The Christmas party from hedonistic club night Bite looks like a winner for those who like their sounds alternative. Dawn Hunger, the new project masterminded by Fuck Buttons’ Andrew Hung, will be performing their industrial electro-punk tracks live.

DJ Mag’s Best of British Awards 2014, Fabric, Wednesday, £8. Dance publication DJ Mag hosts an awards ceremony to celebrate the finest in UK dance music talent, also doubling up as a rather nifty party soundtracked by said talent.

…or see all 27 parties planned this week.

 Scrooged

Film

Trading Places + Scrooged, Prince Charles Cinema, TONIGHT, £14. Humbug! Both these Christmas-related classics focus on the darker side of the festive season – though it all turns out happily in the end, of course.

Pop-Up Cinema in the Snow: ‘Gremlins’, 20th Century Theatre, TONIGHT, £20, £10 concs. Another spiky Christmas classic, courtesy of Pop-Up Screens and their new seasonal residency in Notting Hill’s plush 20th Century Theatre.

Barbican Film Quiz, Cinema Cafe and Bar, TONIGHT, £2. Film fans can test their knowledge at this quiz featuring movie trivia, picture puzzlers and a special Christmas movie-themed round.

5×15 presents Werner Herzog, Central Hall Westminster, Tuesday, £35 + booking fee. Legendary filmmaker Werner Herzog is the next creative mind on the 5×15 bill, ready to be quizzed by Director of the New York Public Library, Paul Holdengraber on his illustrious career to date.

Underground Film Club, The Vaults, Tue-Thur, £13. The Rooftop Film Club have perfected the art of outdoor cinema on the roof of the Queen of Hoxton pub. Now they’re bringing comfy theatre chairs and wireless headphones (say goodbye to cinema rustle) to the eerily atmospheric Vaults, located underneath Waterloo station for a cockle-warming winter pop-up.

Or at the cinema…

Manakamana ★★★★★ This superb Nepal-set documentary hinges on a simple premise: a 16mm camera placed in a cable car travelling up to the Hindu Manakamana Temple almost a mile above sea level. The trip takes about ten minutes and each shot follows a different set of passengers.

The Great Museum ★★★★☆ This eagle-eyed doc from Austrian Johannes Holzhausen not only celebrates the treasures of Vienna’s imposing Kunsthistorisches Museum, it also captures the daily dilemmas of an institution shaped by centuries of imperial power that’s now trying to find a role for itself in the modern world.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies ★★★☆☆ ‘Hobbit’ fans will love this action-heavy finale.

Tinkerbell and the Legend of the NeverBeast ★★★☆☆ The seventh and final instalment in the DisneyToon Studios fairy franchise proves surprisingly lively, even if the title is a bit misleading: it’s actually Tink’s big-hearted pal Fawn who takes centre stage.

The Green Prince ★★★☆☆ The Israel-Palestine conflict is reduced to a crystalline, though still complicated, essence in Nadav Schirman’s alternately tedious and engrossing documentary.

…or see all of the latest releases.

Henry IV Part I

Theatre

Henry IV Part I, Barbican Centre, Tue-Thu, £10-£55. The two plays together are illuminating – a full, engrossing, entertaining narrative, an epic journey of friendship, betrayal, coming-of-age and kingship.

Jabberwocky, Little Angel Theatre, Wed-Thu, £14, £12 concs. Do you know your borogoves from your slithy toves? Not to worry if you don’t. There’s a copy of Lewis Carroll’s poem ‘Jabberwocky’ in the programme for this stage adaptation, and the performance opens with a bedtime reading of it to the boy marionette who’s about to set off on his quest-within-a-dream.

Treasure Island, National Theatre, Olivier, Thursday, £15-£50. Those salty buccaneers Polly Findlay and Bryony Lavery have taken Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic pirate story by force, and given it quite the refit.

Cats, London Palladium, all week, £20-£75. ‘Cats’ is a ridiculous and often trying piece of theatre, but its curio value is undeniable. If your interest is piqued and you’ve not seen it before, you’d be a bit of a pussy not to check it out.

…or see our theatre critics’ choices here.

Pipilotti Rist

This week’s best new art

Pipilotti Rist: Worry Will Vanish, Hauser & Wirth, Tue-Thu, free. Swiss video artist Pipilotti Rist has made a career out of creating video projections that aim to re-engage us with our inner self. And her latest mesmeric installation, ‘Worry Will Vanish’, is worth 15, 30 minutes or, heck, an hour or two of anyone’s time.

Jonathan Meese, Modern Art, Tue-Thu, free. If you’ve suffered a dearth of Teutonic angst in your life since Anselm Kiefer’s show finished at the Royal Academy, then head over to Old Street where Jonathan Meese, Nazi saluting, pith helmet wearing provocateur of contemporary German art, has done a number on Modern Art’s swish new pad.

Melvin Edwards, Stephen Friedman, Tue-Thu, free. Since the 1960s, Edwards has been a pivotal figure in American art, a black voice speaking out against civil injustice. The works here span his entire career and their resonance with current events sends a shiver down the spine.

Post Pop: East Meets West, Saatchi Gallery, all week, free. Even though his work doesn’t feature, Warhol’s DNA is all over this exhibition of art made from the 1970s up to today, and it’s a potent stream of influence that takes you from New York to Moscow to Beijing.

…or see all London art reviews.

And finally

Win… four VIP tickets to Bugged Out Weekender or a whisky blending experience and dinner for 12 at Bam-Bou.

Grab… 2-for-1 tickets to ‘Death by Chocolate’, a murder mystery dinner with Spirit of London.

Book… these gigs while you still can.

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