Video source: Redrow/Vimeo
As you’re no doubt aware, London is currently in desperate need of more affordable housing. But d’you know what it’s got absolutely sodding loads of? Multi-million pound penthouses with stunning city vistas and walk-in showers the size of your living room. Mmmm, feel that rug under your feet? That’s Persian silk.
If you’ve ever been curious as to what sort of person lives in these shiny, vertiginous cuboids, look no further. As this promotional video from property developer Redrow illustrates, it’s aiming its latest batch of £4 million flats at creepy, Patrick Bateman-esque psychopaths who fantasise about groping their neighbours in lifts, can’t be fucked answering the phone to their own mothers and, when the shit hits the fan, lay on their 600-thread-count sheets staring moodily into the middle distance, presumably while deciding which of their greaseball colleagues is most deserving of an axe to the face.
The 90-second promo could easily be a witty pastiche, or a trailer for a new dystopian drama in which every pub in London is replaced with an All Bar One. Instead, it really does seem to be a genuine suggestion that we aspire toward the sort of slick-haired, self-interested bell-endedness that’s slowly driving the average Londoner out of the city.
Anyone thinking that he’ll throw himself off the balcony at the end if you watch it enough times, we’re sorry to disappoint.
By David Clack