If you’ve always wondered/worried about the average penis size, allow us to shrink your fears. New research from King’s College London and the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust has just revealed that the average male appendage is 3.6 inches when soft and 5.2 when hard. They measured over 15,000 chaps of all races and ages and discovered that the average flaccid penis’ girth was 3.7 inches and 4.6 when erect. The aim of the study was to help inform counselling for guys who are anxious about the size of their schlong and to make people feel more normal.
But maybe we shouldn’t be trying to make people feel like they’re okay because they’re Mr Average and instead we should be concentrating on praising the idiosyncrasies of all sizes – small, tall* and everything in between. That’s where The Big Small Penis Party comes in.
There have been small penis celebrations in Brooklyn before, but this is the first we’ve heard of a London version and organiser poet Ant Smith claims that it’s the ‘first ever conference for the celebration and acceptance of small penises everywhere!’ This Saturday March 7, the Rhythm Factory in Whitechapel will be transformed into an open, accepting, silly and fun night of comedy, cabaret and goodness knows what else in honour of ‘tiny todgers, compact cocks, wee willies, mini members, and dinky dicks’.
Men and women are welcome and door price is 50p per claimed phallic inch (for men) and 50p per preferred phallic inch (for women). It’s true what they say, great things do come in small packages.
Find out more about the Big Small Penis Party.
*We are yet to hear about any parties celebrating the larger of todgers, but we’ll let you know.