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Have your self a happy ha-ha-hanukkah with these comedy moments

Posted at 6:15 pm, December 20, 2011 in Arts & Entertainment

Hannukah isn’t just the festival of candles and presents, this holiday is all about the laughs, (well, it should be). T’is the season to be merry after all. Our New York sister has compiled some hannukah hilarity and we wanted to spread the festive funnies around.

Sarah Silverman © Rob Greig

‘For those of you out there who are thinking about the Hanukkah-versus-Christmas thing, let me tell you this: Quite honestly—and this comes from an experiment with a two-and-a-half-year-old—Christmas blows the doors off of Hanukkah.‘ Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, 2008

‘If you don’t know about Hanukkah, I’ll give you a brief little history. Hanukkah was conceived in 1957 by an optometrist in Nova Scotia, Dr. Maurice Tarnouer. And a lot of people think it’s some sort of answer to Christmas to appease children who see their more powerful, affluent Christian friends able to celebrate this day. And they think it was somehow invented to appease those kids and say, ‘Well, you know, us Jews have our own thing. Here’s eight days, so fuck you—how ’bout that?’ And people who believe that are correct.’ David Cross, Maxwell’s, 2002

‘On the first night of Hanukkah, Jewish parents do something that can only be described as sadistic when they hand their child a top. A top. To play with. They call this top a dreidel. I know a fuckin’ top when I see one. You can call it the king’s nuts, I don’t give a shit. Call it whatever you like, it’s a top. A top is not something you play with. A top is not a toy. A toy is something you participate with. It’d be like the equivalent of if you had a young girl and she wanted a Barbie and you handed her a stick and said give it a name.’ Lewis Black, Grand Theatre (Wausau, WI), 2007

‘It is hard as a Jew at Christmastime to find something to fill your heart that’s not Jesus. Usually it involves, Who will I fuck at New Year’s?‘ Jessi Klein, Joes Pub at the Public Theater, 2009

‘Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.’ Richard Lewis

‘I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no holidays.’ Henny Youngman

‘A long time ago, there was a war in Judea. A lot of people died. It was sad. It was so sad! And there was this dude named Judah Maccabee and his army was super small, but he kicked major ass. And that’s why I like to call him Judah Smackabee.’ Andy Samberg explaining the holiday’s origins, as ‘Jewey Fallon’ on ‘Late Night with Jimmy Fallon’, 2009

‘I hate to say this, Santa, but you’re acting like a dick/You should give presents to everyone that’s good and not just to your personal clique.‘ Sarah Silverman (above) singing ‘Give the Jew Girl Toys,’ 2005

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