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Five #londonliesfortourists we learned from ‘London: A Guide to the Naive’

Posted at 8:30 am, April 3, 2012 in Fun London

Raising the London-lies game to the next level, Sam Gould presents this half-hour masterpiece of metropolitan mendacity. Here are just five of our favourite untruths within…

1. London’s magnificent history dates as far back as 1770, when Rodrick I, or ‘Rodney’ as he was known at the time, ordered the construction of a new city on the River Thames. The city took just fifty years to build, and became renowned throughout the land as one of the most thriving spots in the country, stretching from Westminster to Tower Bridge. The king named his city: Zone 1.

2. In the 1800s, a secret society of men emerged, said to control the strings of  political and commercial power. This shadowy order became known as ‘The Order of the Black Cab’, and allegedly had members in every profession, each associated by their shared secret of what they called ‘The Knowledge.’

The Greenwich prime meridian.

3. Time seems to move slower as you approach the Greenwich Meridian. Stand exactly on the line, and you can see time travel in all directions at once.

The portion of the Thames that was formerly the Nile.

4. The River Thames was first brought to England around 300 years ago, some years before London’s birth. It was originally a stretch of the Nile, and given to the English  in lieu of debt, owed for their aid in building the Pyramids in 1700.

Lobster card.

5. VIPs and other well-connected Londoners have access to a higher-calibre public transport network, which they can access using their much-sought-after Lobster Cards.

View more lies to tell tourists on our website.

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