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Brainstorm! Alternative uses for Battersea Power Station

Posted at 6:00 pm, June 7, 2012 in News

Battersea Power Station has just been sold again, this time to a couple of Malaysian property developers. While they decide exactly what to do with the iconic-if-unrefurbishable building, we asked you how you’d give the site a new lease of life…

@MilesAngell:  Bring back Pat Sharp and his trusted twin helpers and create the ultimate fun house.

@ImaginateMum: I would like the Battersea Station to be turned into world’s biggest soft play area for adults. Why do kids get all the fun?

@LuciGosling: Can they not bring back The Adventure Game and use that as the set?

@mermayden: Donate it to the Battersea Dogs home, who clearly need more space. Could start taking in unwanted birds too.

@CarysNelkon: Donate it to Battersea dogs home! Time for a doggy theme park complete with a ‘rollover’coaster and a mutt’s merry-go-round!

@culturalelite: Thunderdome. Tina Turner and men with chainsaws on bungee cords. Would definitely be more exciting than the olympics.

@RandomlyLondon: Turn it into a giant paintball field.

 @spiraltastic: Turn it into a massive ball-pond.

@caronano: Fill it with an enormous bouncy castle for adults

@JPEde: It should be used as a breeding ground for the most intelligent rabbits apropros engineering a master race of super-rabbits.

A far grander vision than a banal mix of office space, luxury apartments and boutique shopping, that’s for sure. Developers and planning authorities, take note – it’s time our needs for childlike wonder and post-apocalyptic terror were met.

And a few ideas from around the office:

Turn it into The Crystal Maze: Admit it, you all wanted to be a contestant on The Crystal Maze – running about with Richard O’Brien, solving conundrums, speed rowing to the Aztec Zone and jumping around for metallic paper. They should make this happen again.

London’s ultimate mystery: The government should buy it, hermetically seal the entire site and then refuse to answer any questions about why. The ensuing mystery will inspire legions of conspiracy theories, blog posts, Channel 4 documentaries and walking tours around the Forbidden Zone, boosting the local economy.

A huge catapult: String some elastic between those famous chimneys, climb into the comfortable launcher, and cut your journey from Battersea to Camden to just 24 seconds. It’ll make the Emirates Air Line look positively dull by comparison. (Note: requires acquisition of site for giant, terminating net.)

Museum of the Thames: Now seems a good a time as any to celebrate our lovely river.

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