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Olympic birds-eye-view: Brian Pigeon vs the hawks

Posted at 12:30 pm, July 17, 2012 in Fun London, Olympics & Paralympics

To get a different view of the run up to the Games (a birds-eye view to be precise), we check in with our avian Olympic correspondent, Brian Pigeon. This week, he shares his thoughts on befriending deadly hawks…

‘A pigeon mate of mine called Murray, who lives on the roof of Wimbledon’s Centre Court, was found during the tournament wandering around babbling to himself like a total nutter. Turns out he’d come beak-to-beak with Rufus, the psycho steroidal security hawk whose sole role in life is to scare the shit out of innocent pigeons. Surely they won’t be employing the same tactics at the Olympics? It could completely scupper our summer of fun, not to mention considerably impacting on my new job as Time Out Olympic scout.

I made a quick flight to Stratford and had a chat with a couple of pigeons over there. They said they’d not only seen a hawk, they’d been hanging out with her. Genius. She’s called Willow, apparently. One of them referred to her as a ‘Right sort, for a hawk.’ What’s more, she’s quite a laugh and likes pigeons. Bonus. Even went steady with one a couple of years back. She said all she does is politely ask them not to build their nests on the roofs, and then suggests alternative locations. She also leaves them alone if all they’re doing is having a quick look. Total relief. My only worry now is that the organisers will think it’s too much for Willow alone, and draft in Rufus. Saying that, he did spend three days alone in a box when he was stolen recently. Bit of thinking time may have done him the world of good. If not, then it’s over to the lovely Willow to work her lady charm – or maybe we’ll just have to shit on his head?’

To see more from Brian, see pigeonblog.wordpress.com.

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