Hello, world! Welcome to London. Please form a queue so orderly that you could be mistaken for a territorial army march on home clothes day. With Olympic tickets being sold on the day in the Park (see above), you might find yourself waiting in line for a fair while. And while you’re standing there patiently, you might as well get into the spirit of things. Just do not, under any circumstance, try to push in, no matter how jolly the atmosphere ends up. But do try one of these five things to do while you queue to help you pass the time.
Be very British
You don’t need to be told that Britain loves to queue, but we are also very particular about it. To fit in you will need to repeatedly:
– claim that the next queue along is moving faster than yours.
– mutter under your breath that the staff controlling the queue have no idea what they’re doing, before thanking them profusely for their help when you get to the front.
– raise suspicion that somebody a few metres in front of you wasn’t there a minute ago and therefore must have pushed in.
Start a mexican wave
There’s nothing more annoying than a mexican wave when you’re trying to enjoy the sport you paid money to see. Enforced fun that means you have to put down your beer? No thanks. But in the queue you will have nothing better to do, so you might as well get it out of the crowd’s system.
Google the sport you’re queuing for
Surely, no one knows the names of all of Romania’s synchronised swimmers. The internet does, though. Swot up and then freak out your friends with a running commentary of obscure facts about the athletes’ track records and, better, scandalous rumours about their personal lives.
Have a non-sponsor picnic
As we know by now, once you get yourself through those golden arches, sorry, gates, you will only be allowed to consume foodstuffs created by the wealthy, unhealthy sponsors of London 2012. So the likelihood that the queue will be in possession of a great quantity of foodstuffs and beverages with a very limited life expectancy is high. Club together and have a lovely sponsor-free snack buffet.
Hold your own Games
There are many classic party games that are beautifully suited to a queue. The one where you pass an orange that’s wedged under your chin, the one where you pass a balloon using your knees, Leapfrog, even Ladders (for the daring) are all going to raise excitement levels. Not least because you’ll end up closer to the strangers next to you than during a rush hour journey on the central line. And possibly just as sweaty. Mmmm. Ashleigh Arnott