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Cut the shish: London’s favourite kebab-themed twitter @Mangal2 debunks seven misconceptions

Posted at 3:00 pm, July 25, 2013 in Food & Drink, Fun London

After public brawls with @TheDolphinPub and Nandos, we thought it only fair that Dalston’s cheekiest kebab shop @Mangal2 (who the UK Twitter director named his favourite account this year) got a chance to debunk seven vicious rumours. Here’s what the grill enthusiast had to say:

Our food sucks

I’m not a prostitute, but our mixed kebab is fucking delicious. Really. You get a lamb chop and cutlet, chicken wing, kofte, cop sis and an erection.

We respect lamb

Lambs are arseholes. They spend their lives in fields doing fuck all. You work hard for your money and don’t look half as cute. Eating them makes you feel better in a world where Tulisa has more success than you.

We’re the sequel to Mangal 1

Bro, we split in the naughties and definitely came out the Timberlakes. We’ve got halloumi, Twitter and we wash our hands. That’s the equivalent of boning Jessica Beil in the restaurant world.

We’re run by the Mafia

You may glance inside, see a stern-faced man holding an iPhone and beating stick and assume we’re part of the Mafia. We’re not. We just live in Clapton estates.

We’re into hippy dippy bullshit

Seriously, we will fuck you up. Come in, eat, pay and leave. Don’t argue. We’re funny, but we’re not that funny.  

Gilbert & George want to be your friends

Gilbert & George are good-intentioned, dry-humoured, charismatic men. They’re in every night at 8pm (it’s the art world’s worst kept secret). But don’t even think about turning up with hoards of arty-shit for them to sign.

Hipsters are welcome

They turned up from Australia like missionaries, airing nonchalance, getting jobs, doing lines in our toilets and PAYING TIPS. Seriously guys, what the fuck? Not cool, Australia, not cool.

Well that outta clear it up.

Interview by Kate Enright

For more kebab jokes follow @Mangal2. Read our review of Mangal II now. 

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