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Sorry, ‘Frozen’ is actually about…what?

Posted at 12:30 pm, November 25, 2014 in Fun London
frozen disney screenshot

Disney’s blockbuster animated hit is coming back to cinemas this winter. And some people have some very strange ideas about the hidden meanings behind the snowy tale of sisters Anna and Elsa.

Conspiracy theory one

Frozen Shining Elsa Jack

‘Frozen’ is a remake of ‘The Shining’

What’s the big idea? The castle of Arendelle is said to look like the hotel in Stanley Kubrick’s creepy 1980 horror. Elsa is supposed to bear more than a passing resemblance to Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance, and the film’s endings are similar: Jack ends up frozen in the snow, ditto Anna.

Who believes it? This theory belongs to American blogger Mary Katharine Ham.

Likely story? This looks kinda convincing on paper. But it’s still utter balls.

Conspiracy theory two

‘Frozen’ is full of occult symbols

Frozen Illuminati

What’s the big idea? ‘Frozen’ is full of old-school magic spells. Plus there’s loads of triangles, which are used in the occult to bring people back from the dead (which happens to Olaf the snowman). According to one theorist, a scene with Anna and Elsa’s father ‘resembles Freemasonry’. Whatever that means.

Who believes it? The website illuminatiwatcher.com goes into detail. Over to them: ‘Did you notice that almost every snowflake is a hexagram; also known as the Seal of Solomon, used to control demons and spirits?’ Ok–ay.

Likely story? This one spooks us. We’re not going to disagree. We might die.

Conspiracy theory three

‘Frozen’ is pro-gay propaganda

Frozen Let it go

What’s the big idea? The song ‘Let it Go’ is Elsa’s coming-out anthem, and her shock when Anna decides to marry Hans after she’s only just met him means that she’s obviously a lesbian. Duh.

Who believes it? The blog ‘A Well-Behaved Mormon Woman’ gets very uptight about how the ‘gay agenda to normalise homosexuality is woven into Disney’s movie “Frozen” not just as an underlying message – it is the movie…’.

Likely story? Ridiculous. And why do homophobic people spend so much time obsessing about gay relationships?

 Conspiracy theory four

Elsa and Anna’s long-lost brother is Tarzan


What’s the big idea? The story of ‘Frozen’ crosses over with other Disney tales. This theory runs that Anna and Elsa’s parents didn’t really die on a boat. They washed up on an island and gave birth to a baby boy: Tarzan.

Who believes it? Well, lots of bloggers have run with it, but this theory originates from the film’s co-director Chris Buck (who also co-directed ‘Tarzan’) who said in a Reddit interview: ‘They got washed up on a shore in a jungle island. The queen gave birth to a baby boy.’ Disney obsessives invented the rest.

Likely story? Seeing as the ‘Frozen’ director inspired this one, we’ll run with it. While beating our chest.

Conspiracy theory five:

‘Frozen’ promotes bestiality


What’s the big idea? That there’s a line in the song ‘Fixer Upper’ about the hunter Kristoff’s relationship with Sven the reindeer that treats interspecies relationships a little too free and easy for some conservative tastes: ‘His thing with the reindeer, that’s a little outside of nature’s laws!’

Who believes it? Colorado pastor and radio host Kevin Swanson got very angry. ‘Friends, this is evil, just evil. I wonder if people are thinking, “This cute little movie is going to indoctrinate my five-year-old to… treat homosexuality or bestiality in a light sort of way.’ Sounds like a fun guy.

Likely story? Make your own mind up. We can’t imagine what Kevin has to say about ‘101 Dalmatians’.

Read our review of ‘Frozen’.

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