If reality’s a bit too much to take, you can always have some drink and drugs. That said, if drink and drugs are possibly getting a bit too much, maybe a big dose of reality is what’s required.
That’s the idea behind how-badly-are-you-ruining-your-life apps Drinksmeter and Drugsmeter. They provide a quick glance at how your consumption compares to other real people, and what it means for you. If you download their mobile apps, you can also track your intake over time, allowing you to chart your gradual but unavoidable descent into total dependency.
(Caution: if you’re quite competitive, you may derive a certain unintended satisfaction from being classed as ‘above average’, and perhaps even some frustration at missing out on ‘very high’ by a mere unit of alcohol.)
If your ‘issue’ is not so much how much you drink as how obnoxiously drunk you get, onetoomany.co asks a quick array of questions about your recent substance-related mishaps, ultimately awarding you an Alcohol Related Social Embarrassment (or ARSE) score, characterising precisely how much of a twat you make of yourself.
Finally, if you’d rather share your entire narcotic intake for the benefit of science, the Global Drug Survey 2015 is now open and awaiting your candour.